"Where are you really from?" and "Your English is so good!" aren't compliments. Here's how to recognize workplace microaggressions and respond professionally.
"Where are you really from?" and "Your English is so good!" aren't compliments. Here's how to recognize workplace microaggressions and respond professionally.
Microaggressions are subtle, often unintentional comments or behaviors that communicate bias. Common workplace examples for immigrants: being asked "where are you really from," compliments on English proficiency, being treated as representative of entire country, having name mispronounced repeatedly without effort to learn, or being excluded from social activities. While often unintentional, they create hostile environment. Respond by educating in moment, documenting patterns, addressing directly with offender, or escalating to HR if repeated.
Microaggressions are subtle comments/behaviors communicating bias
Often unintentional but impact mental health and career advancement
Common examples: "Where are you really from?", assumptions about English
Document patterns - single incident vs repeated behavior matters
Respond based on context: educate, address directly, or escalate to HR
Build support network with other immigrants and allies
Microaggressions are subtle comments/behaviors communicating bias
Often unintentional but impact mental health and career advancement
Common examples: "Where are you really from?", assumptions about English
Document patterns - single incident vs repeated behavior matters
Respond based on context: educate, address directly, or escalate to HR
Build support network with other immigrants and allies
Microaggressions are everyday verbal, behavioral, or environmental slights that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to people based on a marginalized identity.
They are often dismissed because they are subtle, but their impact is real.
Key characteristics:
Often unintentional (the speaker may not realize it is offensive)
Subtle rather than overt discrimination
Cumulative (“death by a thousand cuts”)
Difficult to prove due to plausible deniability
Emotionally exhausting to constantly address
A single microaggression is annoying.
Hundreds over months or years create a toxic environment.
They can:
Damage mental health
Signal that you are “other”
Affect performance reviews and promotion opportunities
Reduce psychological safety
Make you feel unwelcome at work
Some of the most frequent examples include:
“Where are you really from?”
You: “I’m from Chicago.”
Them: “No, where are you really from?”
Translation: You do not look American.
The English compliment
“Wow, your English is so good!”
Translation: I assumed you could not speak English properly.
The cultural representative
“Hey, can you explain what people from your country think about this?”
Translation: You represent millions of people.
The name situation
Repeatedly mispronouncing your name
Asking if you have an “American name”
Giving you a nickname without permission
Translation: Your identity is not worth the effort.
“Where are you really from?”
What they think: I’m curious about your heritage
What you hear: You are not really American
“Your English is great!”
What they think: I’m being complimentary
What you hear: I had low expectations
“Can you explain your country’s view?”
What they think: I value your input
What you hear: You are exotic, not an individual
“Do you celebrate Christmas?”
What they think: I’m making conversation
What you hear: You are probably not normal or Christian
Not all microaggressions are verbal.
Being spoken over in meetings
Your ideas are ignored until repeated by someone else
Credit for your work goes to others
You are interrupted more frequently
The “cultural fit” excuse
Passed over for promotions due to “fit”
Excluded from after-work socializing
Left out of informal decision-making conversations
Assumptions about your role
Assumed to be junior despite senior title
Asked to take notes
Mistaken for IT support or an assistant
Token treatment
Only immigrant included in diversity initiatives
Expected to speak for all immigrants
Featured in marketing but excluded from leadership
Most microaggressions come from unconscious bias, not malicious intent.
Common reasons include:
Limited exposure to diverse backgrounds
Unexamined assumptions
Curiosity expressed insensitively
Desire to seem worldly or inclusive
Lack of awareness of impact
Important note:
Good intent does not erase harmful impact.
“I didn’t mean it that way” does not undo the damage.
Your response depends on context, power dynamics, and your energy level.
Educate gently
Them: “Where are you really from?”
You: “I’m from Chicago. When people ask it that way, they usually mean heritage.”
Redirect
Them: “Your English is so good!”
You: “Thanks. English is my first language.”
Ask a question back
Them: “Where are you really from?”
You: “What do you mean by that?”
Be direct but professional
“I’d really appreciate it if you could pronounce my name correctly. It’s pronounced like this.”
Ignore and move on
Sometimes protecting your energy is the right choice.
Some situations require documentation and escalation.
Red flags:
Pattern of behavior, not a one-off comment
Impact on your performance or opportunities
Hostile environment
Multiple people involved
Manager is the offender
Retaliation after addressing it
How to document:
Keep a log with date, time, people involved, and exact language
Save emails or messages
Note impact on work (missed projects, exclusion)
Record attempts to resolve it directly
What HR can and cannot do:
Can provide training, counseling, and documentation
Can investigate patterns and discipline if severe
Cannot eliminate unconscious bias overnight
Cannot guarantee immediate resolution
Living with constant microaggressions is draining.
Strategies that help:
Build a support network at work
Use affinity groups or immigrant communities
Do not internalize the behavior
Choose your battles intentionally
Speak with a therapist familiar with immigrant experiences
Take breaks from work socializing if needed
Remember your worth is not defined by ignorant comments
Some behaviors cross the line into illegal discrimination.
Examples include:
Denied promotion or raise due to national origin
Fired or demoted because of accent
Paid less than equally qualified colleagues
Subjected to ethnic slurs or a hostile environment
Retaliation for reporting discrimination
These situations require formal action.
If discrimination occurs:
Consult an employment attorney
File an EEOC complaint
Document everything thoroughly
Understand protections under Title VII
Calling out microaggressions should not always fall on you.
What allies can do:
Speak up when they witness microaggressions
Amplify your ideas in meetings
Ensure you are included socially and professionally
Use their privilege to advocate
Educate colleagues proactively
Strong allies make workplaces safer for everyone.
Microaggressions are everyday verbal, behavioral, or environmental slights that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to people based on a marginalized identity.
They are often dismissed because they are subtle, but their impact is real.
Key characteristics:
Often unintentional (the speaker may not realize it is offensive)
Subtle rather than overt discrimination
Cumulative (“death by a thousand cuts”)
Difficult to prove due to plausible deniability
Emotionally exhausting to constantly address
A single microaggression is annoying.
Hundreds over months or years create a toxic environment.
They can:
Damage mental health
Signal that you are “other”
Affect performance reviews and promotion opportunities
Reduce psychological safety
Make you feel unwelcome at work
Some of the most frequent examples include:
“Where are you really from?”
You: “I’m from Chicago.”
Them: “No, where are you really from?”
Translation: You do not look American.
The English compliment
“Wow, your English is so good!”
Translation: I assumed you could not speak English properly.
The cultural representative
“Hey, can you explain what people from your country think about this?”
Translation: You represent millions of people.
The name situation
Repeatedly mispronouncing your name
Asking if you have an “American name”
Giving you a nickname without permission
Translation: Your identity is not worth the effort.
“Where are you really from?”
What they think: I’m curious about your heritage
What you hear: You are not really American
“Your English is great!”
What they think: I’m being complimentary
What you hear: I had low expectations
“Can you explain your country’s view?”
What they think: I value your input
What you hear: You are exotic, not an individual
“Do you celebrate Christmas?”
What they think: I’m making conversation
What you hear: You are probably not normal or Christian
Not all microaggressions are verbal.
Being spoken over in meetings
Your ideas are ignored until repeated by someone else
Credit for your work goes to others
You are interrupted more frequently
The “cultural fit” excuse
Passed over for promotions due to “fit”
Excluded from after-work socializing
Left out of informal decision-making conversations
Assumptions about your role
Assumed to be junior despite senior title
Asked to take notes
Mistaken for IT support or an assistant
Token treatment
Only immigrant included in diversity initiatives
Expected to speak for all immigrants
Featured in marketing but excluded from leadership
Most microaggressions come from unconscious bias, not malicious intent.
Common reasons include:
Limited exposure to diverse backgrounds
Unexamined assumptions
Curiosity expressed insensitively
Desire to seem worldly or inclusive
Lack of awareness of impact
Important note:
Good intent does not erase harmful impact.
“I didn’t mean it that way” does not undo the damage.
Your response depends on context, power dynamics, and your energy level.
Educate gently
Them: “Where are you really from?”
You: “I’m from Chicago. When people ask it that way, they usually mean heritage.”
Redirect
Them: “Your English is so good!”
You: “Thanks. English is my first language.”
Ask a question back
Them: “Where are you really from?”
You: “What do you mean by that?”
Be direct but professional
“I’d really appreciate it if you could pronounce my name correctly. It’s pronounced like this.”
Ignore and move on
Sometimes protecting your energy is the right choice.
Some situations require documentation and escalation.
Red flags:
Pattern of behavior, not a one-off comment
Impact on your performance or opportunities
Hostile environment
Multiple people involved
Manager is the offender
Retaliation after addressing it
How to document:
Keep a log with date, time, people involved, and exact language
Save emails or messages
Note impact on work (missed projects, exclusion)
Record attempts to resolve it directly
What HR can and cannot do:
Can provide training, counseling, and documentation
Can investigate patterns and discipline if severe
Cannot eliminate unconscious bias overnight
Cannot guarantee immediate resolution
Living with constant microaggressions is draining.
Strategies that help:
Build a support network at work
Use affinity groups or immigrant communities
Do not internalize the behavior
Choose your battles intentionally
Speak with a therapist familiar with immigrant experiences
Take breaks from work socializing if needed
Remember your worth is not defined by ignorant comments
Some behaviors cross the line into illegal discrimination.
Examples include:
Denied promotion or raise due to national origin
Fired or demoted because of accent
Paid less than equally qualified colleagues
Subjected to ethnic slurs or a hostile environment
Retaliation for reporting discrimination
These situations require formal action.
If discrimination occurs:
Consult an employment attorney
File an EEOC complaint
Document everything thoroughly
Understand protections under Title VII
Calling out microaggressions should not always fall on you.
What allies can do:
Speak up when they witness microaggressions
Amplify your ideas in meetings
Ensure you are included socially and professionally
Use their privilege to advocate
Educate colleagues proactively
Strong allies make workplaces safer for everyone.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know if something is microaggression or I'm being too sensitive?
If it made you uncomfortable, it's worth examining. Trust your gut. Pattern matters more than single incident.
How do I know if something is microaggression or I'm being too sensitive?
Should I respond every time?
No. Choose your battles based on energy, relationship, and severity. You're not obligated to educate everyone.
Should I respond every time?
What if it's my manager doing it?
Document thoroughly, try addressing directly once, then escalate to HR or manager's manager if continues.
What if it's my manager doing it?
Will complaining about microaggressions hurt my career?
Potentially, in toxic workplaces. Assess company culture before escalating. Some companies take it seriously, others retaliate.
Will complaining about microaggressions hurt my career?
How do I support other immigrants experiencing this?
Speak up when you witness it, validate their experience, offer to accompany them to HR, share your experiences.
How do I support other immigrants experiencing this?
Speak up when you witness it, validate their experience, offer to accompany them to HR, share your experiences.
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